Farewell, The Eternal Battleground - Part Two

What's behind the spider door?

When last we left our heroes, they were blasting away at a mysterious door in the vicinity of a distress call. A female voice was summoning to an inner chamber in a set of devastated ruins.

Zoinks, Scooby! It looks haunted.

Making their way past the ivy-covered rubble, Shiro, Lee and Hercules blow open a door decorated with a spider relief. The whole planet is like a D&D campaign waiting to happen.

When the lock blows, the door swings open. The crossbar simply snaps into two pieces with very little provocation.

These shots are a very weird look for Star Fleet, which usually either maximizes even lighting in order to provide the necessary depth of field for photographing miniatures and puppets or else goes for a more contrasty comic book style. This kind of intense backlighting and naturalistic shadows isn’t usually seen outside indie films.

They kick their way in and Shiro calls out into the dark corridor. Hercules leads the charge without lowering his rifle. Lee brings up the rear.

Erm, what am I looking at? Looks like the remains of some pottery, sculpture, a suit of armor– possibly even a few skeletons mixed in?

Failing to address the spooky atmosphere, the voice urges the three young heroes to keep on coming. Aid is required, urgently!

Lee points out the obvious– it could be a trap. Since the last several encounters with the Alliance have involved trickery of some kind, this makes sense to the viewers too. Hercules is spoiling for a fight and Shiro draws his own handgun. In they go!

“Head’s up, boys!” One of the best reference angles on Shiro’s sidearm.

This world is a world of artefacts– loosely classical Greco-Roman– that would not look out of place in a puppet production of Conan the Barbarian.

They advance slowly, their torches revealing the evidence of a forgotten culture. The spooky scene is interrupted by a colony of bats who swoop down from the rafters and head hastily for the exit, badly scaring Lee in the process. Hercules hints that his trigger control might be adversely affected by future outbursts.

Plainly hung from wires, these bats are nonetheless an effective element in the scene!

Lee goes on making uncomfortable moaning noises to let everyone know he’d rather be somewhere, ANYWHERE, else.

They make their way past more old and creepy statues to a large (and animal skin adorned) chamber where they see a surprising sight…

…but not before posing for their album cover shot.

A woman, with long, red hair, is caught in a huge spider web, spun between Corinthian columns. Over her face is a metallic mask.

Damn. This is taking a turn! I hope that if I’m ever caught in a spider’s web that I can look as glamorous and romantic as this lady. She even has that silver hair clip!

Everyone is a bit speechless at this sight– except Lee who wonders how this woman could send an SOS from within a mask. This is really bringing out the communications officer in you, isn’t it?

Hercules interrupts to point out that, as knights in shining armor, they should definitely be rescuing the damsel in distress. Class act as always, Hercules.

I’m not really sure how this effect is achieved. It’s clear in some of the shots that it is a three-dimensional model, but it’s never dwelled on in camera for long, leaving me to think that it might be a foreground miniature rather than a full sized puppet-scale spider.

Fire! And check out those spider knee joints. It also makes a very cool and scary sound, presumably provided by one of the voice cast.

As they advance, they are soon attacked by a giant spider, swooping in from overhead. It seems to fly directly into their line of fire rather than head-on, and moves without any trace of the strands of webbing spiders generally use to get from place to place without walking. The boys hastily dispatch it and turn their attention back to the masked lady.

Faced with rescuing someone from this situation, how would you proceed?

By blasting away with a laser rifle– obviously!

Disregarding any particular fears for her safety, Hercules cuts her down by firing his weapon at the webs all around her. What would PPA say if he was here?

Freed from her bonds, the prisoner simply crumples to the ground in a heap. There’s no effort from the heroes to cushion her fall, although Lee does groan a bit in sympathy.

Her mask drops away, revealing a beautifully sculpted visage very much in the mould of Lamia, but the real surprise comes when she opens her eyes.

The lady has pupils like a cat and her irises are yellow. In a way, she’s much more alien than any of the non-alliance aliens we meet in Star Fleet. There’s nothing about her or the general mise-en-scene that gives the viewer even the slightest hint about whether she can be trusted or not.

She gasps when she sees her rescuers and Shiro begs her not to be afraid, explaining that they came because of her distress signal.

Those eyes have a way of staring straight into your soul.

Introductions are swiftly made¹ and the lady calls herself Keeli, the Princess of the planet. She asks to be taken to her palace.

Of course, there is no palace left standing. Nevertheless, they dutifully bring the Princess up to the surface where they begin to ask more questions.

The camera, moved very cleverly throughout this episode, tracks through the ruins and ends on our characters.

Her answers don’t make a lot of sense. She claims they are in the midst of a terrible war, even though all the battle craft spied from the air appear deserted or destroyed.

Princess Keeli takes us back in time using the time honored method of bowing her head, closing her eyes, and allowing the camera to go out of focus.

According to Keeli, it’s all the fault of the Imperial Alliance. In addition to destroying her entire planet’s culture, the baddies also had the gall to kill her parents.

Commander Makara was in charge of this operation too, evidently. She’s a very busy Imperial Commander and I’m starting to think perhaps the only one.

It’s really daring and cool how close the filmmakers were willing to allow their puppets to get to the elements such as fire. Something that would haunt the production in later years.

Through a column of flame, Commander Makara decrees that the planet² is now under the subjugation of the Alliance. She makes the usual claims that resistance will be crushed but adds a curious addendum. “Fight and you will fight forever until the princess is rescued.”

Are these flashback images playing out in the imagination of Shiro? Or in the memory of Princess Keeli? It’s unclear how literal these events are meant to be viewed, especially in the light of what happens next.

If what we see is to be believed, Keeli was webbed and placed in the iron mask, not by a giant spider, but by a pair of termoids. Meanwhile, her planet was forced into a state of perpetual war.

The Princess in the Iron Mask

An army of tanks and fighters, presumably imported by the Imperial Alliance.

Keeli explains that her planet, once peaceful, is now turned nightly into a battlefield. Sleeping insectoid tanks and and pterodactyl-like fighter planes battle ad nauseam with no end or goal in sight.

Back in the present, Shiro seems a bit dubious of this story. And who can blame him? After all, all of this reeks more of sword and sorcery epics than typical Imperial blitzkrieg. Why would Makara issue some sort of mysterious curse on the planet? Where did this power of enchantment come from– is Makara a powerful witch? And how exactly does the fairytale quest to free the princess work? Is her freedom somehow tied to the alleged state of constant war?

Shiro looks around and declares the place peaceful. But Keeli insists all will soon awake and conflict will erupt once more.

Who were they battling? Each other? Or merely attacking the planet itself?

Hercules implies that the girl may not be completely well after her ordeal but he never finishes the thought. An Imperial Carrier arrives on the scene.

The Greek architecture implies a classical or mythological basis for this story.

A voice– once again all too familiar– issues from the carrier. Shiro identifies it as Captain Carter and challenges him. But Carter isn’t prepared to confirm his identity just yet.

Carter, still speaking only over a loudspeaker, demands that the cadets end the search for the Skull and turn in Lamia “or you’ll die on this ghost planet.”

Hercules, hearing what Shiro is hearing, begins to angrily address the voice as his mentor, Captain Carter. Everyone, it seems, now believes what Shiro has long suspected– that Carter is Makara’s new Lieutenant.

Carter tosses aside their challenges with an evil chuckle or two, brilliantly delivered by the stalwart Garrick Hagon, and demands that they hand over F-01. After all, it is “too late for you to realize it’s power.” He seems to say that the F-01 is a mere weapon to be wielded and not a person or being.

Hercules takes a quick glance at their position and informs Shiro, unofficially the C.O. of this mission, that they are tactically in a very bad position. Carter is overhead with flying artillery and they are in a shattered parthenon.

Shiro orders Lee to hide the Princess in the dungeon for cover, a move that would seem to contradict the idea that her freedom is key to unlocking the spell that binds this planet but never mind.

Keeli tries to warn Shiro that the sleeping tanks can be reactivated, but he dismisses her.

“Laudable and suicidal.”

When Shiro announces that he will not agree to the demands, Carter orders an attack! But instead of gunning down the boys, the fighters make a quick pass at them and turn their attention to shooting at the derelict vehicles on the battlefield.

"Why are they attacking those tanks?"

Having done seemingly nothing, Carter recalls his astrofighters to the Imperial Carrier. Lee has returned and speculates that the Princess was right.

The eye-like windows of the tanks begin to glow yellow.

The tanks awaken like wilderness creatures. The pterodactyl-shaped fighters reawaken too and launch into the skies with a sound effect very recognizable to Gerry Anderson fans.

With an evil cackle, Captain Carter vacates the premises. Hercules fires after him.

Unable to get to Carter and faced with annihilation from the tanks, our three heroes make their way back to Dai-X.

Think they can make it back to their spacecraft safely?

Well, they can!

In no time at all, the boys are ready to lift off and join the fray.

Hercules is in trouble immediately. Those fighters are all over him like PPA on a tardy space cadet. Fortunately, Shiro has his back.

Lee has some success battling the ground forces, but Shiro makes the call to go ahead and dock. There’s some lovely dialogue as Lee maneuvers toward Hercules for the junction, as opposed to the reverse that normally happens.

Dai-X Junction complete!

The complete mecha commences battling with a weapon that (this week) is called the canon laser. It doesn’t look particularly more powerful than any of the weapons the individual sections of Dai-X can summon up on their own, but perhaps there is a daisy chaining effect going on here. The energy of the combined fighters could be more powerful than the sum of the parts.

Call me crazy, but I love a big puppet scale switch!

Predictably, the enemy is no match for Dai-X!

Making mincemeat out of the aerial forces, Dai-X then lands for a little ground pounding action.

OUCH! Glad I’m not a bug-eyed tank.

With the usual growls, Dai-X stomps and smashes through the ground forces too. Then things grow strangely quiet. The Dai-X theme stops playing.

The production does an amazing job here making it seem as if dozens of tanks are lining up to oppose Dai-X. The only sound is there engines revving. It’s hard to put into words, but there is something melancholic about this last stand. We don’t know if these vehicles are manned or not, but it feels like a sad ending for a sad army– caught in a trap of war like Sisyphus forever rolling his stone uphill.

“Gosh sakes, Dr. Benn would never believe this!”

The eerie atmosphere is affecting Shiro too. He pauses to consider his enemy, but when the filmmakers let us hear his thoughts by way of voice over, it’s Dr. Benn he’s thinking of.

“For a country boy like me, this is a little too weird!”

While Shiro is lost in thought, the tanks open fire. Hercules has had enough and requests that they “wipe ‘em out fast!” Snapping back to the moment, Shiro suggests the very clever strategy of using the terrain to their advantage.

It's over– they have the high ground!

Dai-X starts a rock fall and the tanks are smashed to pieces. It’s a brutal end to war on the eternal battlefield.

A few “Dai-X torpedos” will clear away the remainder…

As the tanks smolder away and the three pilots look out across the ruined wasteland, the voice of Princess Keeli can again be heard.

We thought we sent you back to the basement!

“There will be no more wars on this planet,” she announces, “flowers will bloom again and one day a new life will emerge from these ashes.” Then, settling into a stone chair, the Princess settles down to rest in peace.

“What does she mean?”

Before their astonished eyes, Keeli closes her eyes and… and… transforms into a rose.

Shiro and company are very nearly as surprised as I am by this turn of events. “She was never really there!” Shiro marvels before revealing that he feels “a kind of emptiness.” This planet is once again peaceful, but no one is left alive to enjoy it. Can you imagine a character on a Gerry Anderson show sitting around discussing his feelings of emptiness?

Hercules, not one to settle into ennui, channels his feelings into rage against the Imperial Alliance. Shiro wonders, to himself this time, how Carter could have joined such a depraved enemy.

“Something tells me our leg’s gone to sleep!”

The episode finishes on a note of comedy as Lee dozes off. Hercules lures him back home with the promise of chocolate cookies and, just like that, episode eleven is in the history books.

This episode is a fan favourite and it’s not hard to see why. The battle sequences are all top tier tokusatsu action and were the primary source material for the famous Brian May music video. Princess Keeli is one of the most memorable guest characters in the entire series. The story itself is a cut above average for X Bomber and delves into more mysterious and mythological territory.

On the other hand, this episode raises as many questions as it answers. What was the Alliance’s interest in this planet? Was Keeli a ghost or some other form of apparition? What is with all the magical elements– why lock the planet into a cycle of endless war? Does the Alliance have the power to cast spells? The series is otherwise “hard sci-fi” dealing with technology that can be plausibly explained, but several elements of this are pure fantasy.

Perhaps it’s that additional layer of the enigmatic that sets it apart from the rest. Either way, it’s a lovely story and well worth revisiting time and time again.

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1. During which John Lee makes a comment HR would probably not endorse.

2. Sometimes referred to in ancillary materials as Planet D, but as far as I’m aware, is unnamed in any onscreen version.